<joep> but we need to defend our base
<HighElf> dude.  moat, with attack goldfish.

Notes: submitted via eggdrop

<spam> they have irc in the jungle, yes?

<obstic> :( /whee is not a command

Notes: submitted via eggdrop by spam

<sliver> Canada should just go back to Europe where it belongs.

Notes: submitted via eggdrop by spam

<spam> bluegrass is fuckin awesome
<spam> downright amazing crackhead banjo music
<spam> it's like happy hardcore for hicks

Notes: submitted via eggdrop by ^Da5id^

<spam> because you're a girl
<spam> and on IRC
<ShamLap> hey now that's discrimination.
<spam> it's statistics.

Tags: discrimination girl irc

<HighElf> hm
<HighElf> think the wall is about to beat me in this staring contest
<HighElf> :(
<HighElf> fuck.
<HighElf> wall 1, mexican 0
<GooB> heh
<GooB> that exciting of a night?
<HighElf> dude, the wall started it
<HighElf> I'm gonna kill that bitch someday

<tbsoup> When I type "plates" in my T9 mode, the first word that comes up is "slaves"... that weirds me out a little
<tbsoup> does the topic of slaves come up in sms convos often?
<HighElf> you must have a southern phone

<obstic> mom took me there once to buy machetes

Notes: submitted via eggdrop

<foo> i didnt go to nerdlan to fight
<carcosa> you fucking said for days in advance how you were going to fight me
<foo> ok your right

Notes: submitted via eggdrop

<carcosa> someone needs to come out with powered fleshlights that mount under desks
<carcosa> I bet they would sell like mad
<ShamLap> isn't that what gf are for?...
<carcosa> shamlap gfs are for bringing tombstone pizza while you are getting serruptitous blowjobs from your desk-cunt

Notes: submitted via eggdrop

<joep> kazzy: im going to smell like 7 assholes by the time i get outa here

<node> har
<node> drunk
<eternal> dan
<eternal> you coming online, and saying 'drunk'?
<eternal> is like me, coming online and saying 'fat'

Tags: danmotherfuckingmason drunk

<amagosa> So I was like, whatever, I'll go with him. Maybe I'll get to know him better and he'll aggravate me less.
<amagosa> Christina was bragging to me about how her boyfriend was going to take her out, and that's why she couldn't go out to dinner with us
<amagosa> So Dennis, the dorky guy, and I, sit down at Applebees and order dinner
<amagosa> And not 5 minutes pass before Christina walks in and sits down with us

[ed: ... time passes ... ]

 * terje waits for the end of amagosas story
<oteg> he's spanking it to the thought of the super, super cute friend of his
<oteg> and the dorky guy
<HighElf> this better end up with someone's head on a stick
<oteg> yay
<terje> thats it? what a shitty story
<Phil21> haha
 *** terje is now known as amagosa_
<amagosa_> so anyway
<amagosa_> she comes and sits down
<HighElf> haha
<spam> mahaha
<amagosa_> and the dorky guy starts hitting on her
<oteg> heh
<amagosa_> and he says something about linux that makes no sense!!!
 * spam sits in front of uncle amagosa_
<amagosa_> and im like dude you are so dumb you dont know linux
<amagosa_> after a while he had like 4 long islands
<amagosa_> and started groping my super cute friend
<amagosa_> and im like dude, get off her or ill kick your ass
<amagosa_> so he gets up and takes his vest off and wants to fight!
<spam> haha vest
<amagosa_> she starts begging me not to
<`mx> whats funny is actually wacthing amagosa kicking someones ass.
<spam> hahaha
<spam> vest
<amagosa_> but i got up and kicked him in the balls, grabbed her hand, and ran out the door
<amagosa_> so were driving home and she gets a call on her cell
<Phil21> haha
<Phil21> it's like a fishing story! cool!
<amagosa_> and says "oh, my boyfriend is actually home, were going out now" so i drop her off at Tod's house and go home and beat off to anime, the end
 *** amagosa_ is now known as terje

Notes: A long winded but classic story from years past

Tags: joep long

<`mx> geese == sky carp

Notes: submitted via eggdrop by spam

[15:29:21] S P A M: |^^^^^^^^^^ ^^^ ||______
                    |.The WHO GIVES A | ||'""|""\_,_
                    | __ FUCK TRUCK __ l ||__|__|_|)
                    |(@)(@)****(@)(@)****|( @)**
[15:30:23] S P A M: HAHAHA
[15:30:26] S P A M: whoops
[15:30:32] S P A M: I thought I had a password in the paste buffer
[15:30:38] S P A M: and instead it was the who gives a fuck truck
[15:31:10] S P A M: so it looked like this
[15:31:16] S P A M: root@64.210.144.162's password:  
                                                     |.The WHO GIVES A | ||'""|""\_,_
                                                     | __ FUCK TRUCK __ l ||__|__|_|)
                                                     |(@)(@)****(@)(@)****|( @)**

<McFisty> if there is rohypnol, there is permission

Notes: submitted via eggdrop by poptix

<HighElf> can we do softcore felching?

Notes: submitted via eggdrop by McGinAss

<ChuffyKow> going to get a drink, back in a few
<hose> drunkass
<ChuffyKow> gatorade sure gets me wasted

<^Da5id^> I'm dating Bill
<spam> ^da5id^: hot
<obstic> fag.

Notes: submitted via eggdrop by HighElf

<poptix> i need to find some strapping young men

Notes: submitted via eggdrop by pope_

<joep> wanna get fuckdicked in war3?

Notes: submitted via eggdrop by `mx

<`mx> I like hunting the cock.

Notes: submitted via eggdrop by spam

<poptix> there's just something weird about dildos with a 'dishwasher safe' label

Notes: submitted via eggdrop by ^Da5id^

<Carcosa> I installed gentoo on your mom

Notes: submitted via eggdrop by ^Da5id^

<^Da5id^> where the hell do I take april for lunch on saturday
<obstic> dennys
<^Da5id^> foreign, not mexican
<obstic> dennys
<spam> haha>
<^Da5id^> funny, but I am looking for real assistance here
<obstic> dennys

Notes: submitted via eggdrop by spam

<spam> I now dream of the BLENDTEC TOTAL BLENDER
<spam> WILL IT BLEND?
<spam> YES IT FUCKING WILL

Notes: submitted via eggdrop by spam

<@^Da5id^> so feel free to threaten me with the sharp edge of your tongue

Notes: submitted via eggdrop

<LarchOye> hey, anyone know how to move a channel window up in the list in irssi?
<LarchOye> apparently last time I got kicked from here it didn't rejoin, and now my channels are out of order...
<LarchOye> heh
<^Da5id^> Ctrl+z
... LarchOad :larchoye@ninjutsu.iddx.net: has joined #skark
<LarchOad> nice buttfucker
<^Da5id^> hahaha

<carcosa> that tourettes guy was basically barking mad
<carcosa> I knew he was a nutcase in seattle when I saw him at the bus station there... he did something I have seen one other mentally ill man do, which was he had numerous pieces of string coming out all his pockets which were presumably connected to stuff inside the pockets so he could pull it out easy

Notes: submitted via eggdrop

<node> dorf, I don't even want to imagine why you're mixing laxatives with sleeping pills

Notes: submitted via eggdrop

@^Da5id^: ShamLap: no amount of eating is gonna take me back to 200lbs while I am actively working out
 Evie: you were 200 lbs?
 Evie: did you get stapled to a fat person accidently?

Notes: submitted via eggdrop

<Shammy> my drivers license says i got an F in sex

work powwow:

<Phil21> so... why did the transfer ticket more or less have nothing done at all on it for 3 days?
<Phil21> ugh
<Phil21> I hate seeing this stuff, it just makes me fucking pissed.
<ChuffyKow> because i'm still wrangling sites to transfer
<ChuffyKow> a lot of them are crapping out
<Phil21> that's fine, but 3 days without letting anyone know what's happening?
<Phil21> shit like that
<Phil21> not you specifically, just in general
<Phil21> and I swear to fucking god rahim eats forks
<Phil21> I just added 4 to the collection, and we're again down to 3
<Phil21> so that's 4 eaten in like a month
<Phil21> I need to find some cheapass bulk forks and order 200 of them
<ChuffyKow> I had a dog piss on me while I was asleep in bed, so fuck your forks
<spam> oh man
<spam> don't step this week.
<Phil21> that's your own dumbass fault for allowing a dog in your house, not to mention in your fucking bed
<spam> this week was bad.
<ChuffyKow> didn't allow it in my bed!
<ChuffyKow> the fucking FIANCE threw him on me
<Phil21> does said FIANCE have black eye?
<spam> I was having the worst diarrhea I've ever had
<Phil21> and pee breath from licking it up?
<Phil21> if not, you lose.
<spam> I was taking a sip of pepto bismol and suddenly decided I needed to throw up
<ChuffyKow> no, but she cooked me dinner and bought me some new clothes at eddie bauer to make up for it
<spam> like, now
<Phil21> lol
<Phil21> heh
<Phil21> pepto
<Phil21> I hate that shit
<Phil21> never. ever.
<spam> usually it's ok
<Phil21> pill form ftw
<ChuffyKow> spam: man, I puked after drinking some pepto last week. My vomit was pink.
<spam> so anyway I tried to lean over to the sink but jammed the corner of it into my ribs, not working.  I had to dive into the toilet with my green/yellow shit in it
<spam> shit dripping from my ass down my leg
<spam> trying [desperately] to flush
<spam> pink capped puke coming from the bottom of my stomach
<ChuffyKow> hahaha
<spam> then suddenly I go hazy and my palms get sweatty
<spam> I'm trying [even more desperately] not to pass out and give myself a 5-alarm swirly
<Phil21> lol
<spam> I hadn't puked like that since I ate some bad eggs at embers like 10 years ago
<spam> abdomen ripping kind
<ChuffyKow> what's a regex for removing the first 57 characters from every line in a file?
<spam> ^.{39}
<spam> err
<spam> ^.{57}
<spam> is your regex

Notes: Long but QFT, CFT.  Slight prose changes made to improve readability.

Tags: long spam

<@HighElf> at least I didn't have the town firefighters try to drag me to the whorehouse this time around

Notes: fulbat in nevada

<imfinite> hi
<imfinite> i am sad about my ex mexican
<spam> you have an ex mexican?
<imfinite> yes
<imfinite> i mean he's still pretty much mexican
<imfinite> he's just not MY mexican
<imfinite> i called him today and he said he didn't sleep much last night
<imfinite> do you think that means that he had sex with someone
<spam> hopefully
<spam> those mexicans need constant sex or they go bad
<rageahol> he was plotting
<rageahol> against america
<rageahol> you're better off without him
<rageahol> and his anti-american schemes
<imfinite> liar
<rageahol> he was probably scheming a way to get his novia across the border so that they could have 15 anchor babies

<obstic> thought about getting a panda on my ass
<pope_> Boy that is the gayest thing I ever heard and I fucked a tranny

Notes: submitted via eggdrop by HighElf

<klutz> serious emergency
<klutz> bring a plunger larch

Notes: submitted via eggdrop by saiae

<klutz> so radio shack still gets customers asking for/about me
<klutz> and rich showed a lady the webcam to see what i'm up to
<klutz> and i was mooning it

Notes: submitted via eggdrop by saiae

<popefone> They don't make a shampoo for twincest

Notes: submitted via eggdrop by spam

<`mx> suse linux makes me want to throw the fuck up
<HighElf> don't puke on the brick

Notes: submitted via eggdrop by spam

<tbsoup> yay toilet wine

Notes: submitted via eggdrop by spam

<joep> I USED TO FUCK GUYS LIKE YOU IN PRISON

Notes: submitted via eggdrop by LarchOye

<spam> does this atomic clock make my ass look fat?

Notes: submitted via eggdrop by goober

<low> im not ruining a good dildo on some aids poon

Notes: submitted via eggdrop by McFisty

<cut> they should make celebrity rehab an elimination show

Notes: submitted via eggdrop by spam

<joep> i am super edgy and offensive in a hillarious way

Notes: submitted via eggdrop by joep

<LarchOye> joep: I USED TO FUCK GUYS LIKE YOU, BUT THEN I FOUND OUT THAT YOU'RE A FAGGOT

Notes: submitted via eggdrop by McFisty

<flackman> just because no wives get raped don't mean it's edina

Notes: submitted via eggdrop by McFisty

<klutz> how long after you masterbate should you wait before walking to work
<HighElf> has the bleeding stopped?
<klutz> it never stops

Notes: submitted via eggdrop by McFisty